A guideline for white cis male allies. — There are a lot of white cis men on writing platforms who consider themselves to be fighting the good fight, myself included. They write about inequality and sometimes the personal steps one can take to make the world a bit of a better place. However, you often see a different…

Explaining chauvinism — I recently wrote an article about an exchange with a white, cis, probably heterosexual, male author. Like most cis, white men, being asked to consider his point of view was challenging for him critically, and he felt the need to shut down the exchange rather than actually think about what…

Chauvinism is no kind of allyship. — Disclaimer: While this may be harsh criticism, this guy is no different from many other white cis male “allies”, certainly not worse or better than any other average guy like him. And not better or worse than me. This is a call out, but it’s calling out more men than…

And now they’re men — I’ll be honest, I think gendering any type of abuse is problematic, but here I’ll speak directly as a person who experienced abuse in my formative years. I word it in this less-than-palatable fashion purely because I don’t think the age of consent or adulthood is some magical yardstick by…

It’s important to understanding is what some of these Poly Prophets seem to lack in their generic brand related interactions on social media — You see a lot of these guys online. Making money through giving people relationship advice about the best ways to be poly. It’s not that I have an issue with hustling, I’m just not sure it’s an ethical hustle. Research is a different thing. Booked based on studies are a…

How to feel about it as a white person committed to racial equality? — Content warning: This post will discuss some aspects of kink, including consensual sexual activity that orients around racism. It also mentions child abuse and age play as a consensual kink I’m a kinky guy. I look for kinky partners. That’s basically sexual compatibility. Kink is a strange world. Some kinks…

We have to be proactive about solving it. — There’s been an Internet Debate. From what I can make of it, someone made a TikTok video that somehow argues that racist white teens should be rehabilitated by those on the political Left. That seems the gist of their argument. A lot of folk disagree. I disagree. I think racist…

It’s because of who we each are and how we are perceived. — It’s for the same reasons the relationship I have with my cis male partner, Jay, will always be homosexual. And why my relationship with my non-binary partner, Dan, will always on a similar queer axis to my relationship with Jay. …

When things aren't fine, pause — Common poly advice is to not start new relationships while your current, established relationships are unstable. Given no relationship is perfect, and outside events influence your interactions, it can be hard to define what a happy relationship looks like. At the very least, I think a truthful response to “how…